7 Pillars of Resilience: Building Mental Strength

There are people who don't let themselves be defeated. Setbacks, losses, grief – their focus always remains on hope and positivity. This does not mean that they are numb or cold-hearted and simply let everything bounce off them with a smile. Often, the opposite is true. They give their feelings exactly the space they need. And as unique and strong personalities as they may be – they all have one thing in common: pronounced resilience. In this post, you will learn what the 7 pillars of resilience are and how you can train your own resilience.

What does resilience mean?

The term itself comes from physics and refers to materials that can return to their original state after extreme tension. And that is without lasting damage. [1][1] Materials in Today's World: Dr. Ronald Redwing, College of Earth and Mineral Sciences (2023): Resiliency and Toughness Translated into a psychological context, resilience means: The inner balance is almost unshakable and can process even severe blows of fate well, without long-term damage to mental health. Resilience can be roughly translated as fortitude.  

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf them. - Jon Kabat-Zinn

What are the 7 pillars of resilience?

The 7 pillars of resilience are seven abilities identified by psychologist Ursula Nuber as the foundation of resilient personalities. The model simply represents complex  psychological connections and makes areas of work visible where you can work to strengthen your own resilience. The model is so successful that it is now used worldwide.[2][2] Resilience model according to Ursula Nuber: Dipl. Psych. Julia Scharnhorst: Haufe Personal Office The 7 pillars of resilience are strongly related to each other and influence each other.

Pillar 1: Optimism

Is your glass half empty or half full? Whether optimist or pessimist – both can be realists, the difference lies in the focus. Pessimists can be thrown off balance by crises – they focus on the negative and often despair over it. Optimists, on the other hand, have a positive focus and trust that they can solve problems and think accordingly solution-oriented. Who wouldn't rather be optimistic? The good news: You can learn to direct your thoughts to the good – for example with a gratitude journal. A success journal can also help you see things in a more positive light, because it helps you appreciate even the smallest successes in your life.

Pillar 2: Acceptance

There are facts that you cannot change. But you can face them and make the best of it for yourself. That some circumstances are the way they are and you can't do anything about it is a difficult learning process. One example is the loss of a loved one. No matter what, you cannot bring the person back. But you can find an encouraging way to deal with the situation for yourself, preserve memories, accept them, and work on a strong second pillar by letting beautiful feelings back into your life. Learning acceptance requires a lot of practice, but it's worth it.

Pillar 3: Finding solutions

You often have it in your own hands to regain control over your life: Look for solutions and get into action. A good first step is to actively work on the 7 pillars of resilience.

Pillar 4: Leaving the victim role

To get through a setback, self-compassion is extremely important. But it is also essential not to sink into self-pity, because that can cause cracks in your pillars, your resilience. Remind yourself of your strengths and see what you can do yourself to overcome crises.

Pillar 5: Taking responsibility

Constantly blaming others: usually doesn't help at all. Instead, reflecting on mistakes and taking responsibility for your own actions: great!

Pillar 6: Building networks

People are social beings. Shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is suddenly not so bad anymore. Especially in difficult times, support from the outside is extremely important. Our bonds and relationships therefore represent the sixth of the 7 pillars of resilience.

Pillar 7: Planning the future

With good planning, you can avoid future crises at best and mentally prepare yourself for difficult periods of life. But be careful: avoid overthinking. If you constantly imagine horror scenarios, you are more likely to have the opposite effect and you can harm yourself and your psyche with it. 

Do I have to master all 7 pillars of resilience to develop fortitude?

First of all: no. You can also imagine the 7 pillars of resilience as 7 shields against negative, external influences. If your shields are "intact", they have the potential to absorb or at least cushion mental stress without you falling into a deep mental hole. For "minor crises", two or three shields may be enough, so you can overcome them if only two or three of your 7 pillars of resilience are stable. Whether the absorption succeeds depends not only on your resilience, i.e., the strength of your shields, but also on the "difficulty level" of the situation you are confronted with.

Staying with the pillar image: If our 7 pillars of resilience are stable, two or three can still crumble or break down completely. Maybe you have to rebuild some from scratch first. If you imagine a great burden now, for example as a heavy stone slab, four pillars are enough to carry it. But it doesn't hurt to work on the other pillars too, because one can always break down. This is how you build reserves.

7 tips for your daily resilience training

Being optimistic, accepting things as they are, yet acting solution-oriented, giving up the victim role, taking personal responsibility, nurturing social relationships, and making plans for the future – that seems like a lot at once. These tips can help you build your 7 pillars of resilience systematically piece by piece:

Tip 1: Identify stressors

Create a stress map for this. You write down all areas as bullet points that currently play a role in your life. These can be people, relationships, jobs, or tasks. You now assign each of these aspects a "stress factor" from - 5 (= costs an enormous amount of energy, stresses you out like crazy) to + 5 (= gives you energy, makes you feel good) [3][3] Careerslounge: Resilience - Skills and practical exercises
Now you have an exact picture of what stresses you the most.

Add up all the numbers. If the result is negative, you can try to limit the things that are in the negative range. For example, meet with people who don't do you any good less often, distribute tasks that stress you out particularly, and never take on too much at once. Try to come to a positive sum through this – this is how you reduce your stress level.

Tip 2: Fake it till you make it

Chin up, shoulders back, and chest out! The body and psyche are so closely connected that you will also feel your outward strength inwardly. Observe your body posture when something stresses you out a lot. We tend to literally hang our heads and lower our chins. The body shows outwardly: "I'm not doing well right now."
Of course, you should allow yourself to feel your feelings and process them. But if you take a literally strong stance in crises, it helps you deal with difficult situations. In addition, you signal to your fellow human beings that they should offer support on an equal footing rather than pitying you.

Tip 3: Focus on the good

Our brain is constantly looking for things that are going wrong or pose a threat. In prehistoric times, this way of thinking ensured our survival. Only today does this Stone Age thinking pattern lead us to evaluate negative emotions much more strongly than positive ones.

It is not the strongest species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one that reacts most quickly to changes. - Charles Darwin

If you were to evaluate feelings on an intensity scale, pain is rated on average three to four times stronger than satisfaction. The good news: You can teach your brain to focus more strongly on the good when training the 7 pillars of resilience. This requires some practice – for example, by writing down daily what good things happened to you and what you are grateful for. With a gratitude journal, you can do this guided with daily questions. After just a few weeks, a healthy dose of optimism typically sets in. The most popular journal is available here. 

Tip 4: Resilience is not black or white

No, resilience is always a dynamic process in which individual elements sometimes work better, sometimes less well. Don't compare yourself with others whom you think are particularly balanced, but accept that everyone is always in development. Life is constantly changing, just like us, therefore you don't "suddenly" achieve a form of resilience – instead, the journey is the goal here.

Tip 5: Relax

It sounds trivial and you have probably heard it many times – but regular relaxation is especially effective for training your own resilience. Everything that does you good makes you more resilient. Enough sleep, lavender tea, meditation, yoga, sports, holidays, digital breaks, walks...[4][4] NHS UK skillsforcare: Building your own health, resilience and wellbeing You name it. 

Tip 6: Ask yourself honestly: "Do I want this?"

Answer this simple question for all important areas of life – whether in relationships, at work, regarding your place of residence, or when it comes to your hobbies. Besides external influences that stress us out, we can also have inner conflicts. They always arise when what we do does not match what we want. For example, if you are stuck in a job where you can answer the initial question too often with a clear "No!", there is a need for action. Change something, do something different.

Tip 7: Test yourself

You probably already have a rough idea of whether you can deal well with stress and crises or whether everything affects you very deeply. To get to know your status quo in terms of resilience even better and to identify your pillars that can be developed, an online test is a good start, for example the MDR resilience self-test. Of course, you can also take any other test that feels serious to you. You can also draw conclusions and explore the state of your 7 pillars of resilience with the help of a mindfulness journal.

Is the 7 pillars of resilience model suitable for everyone?

Of course, the model isn't a one-size-fits-all remedy that protects you and everyone in the world from mental overload or mental illness.[5][5] AOK Magazine: Train resilience – how to strengthen your fortitude
There are situations in life that are so stressful that they require professional medical or therapeutic support.

Also, it is difficult for many people to even identify their "pillars" in themselves, because everything is so strongly interconnected. But individually, the 7 pillars of resilience give a lot of insight into which of our own construction sites we can still work on, to become overall more resistant to stress. 

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This post is by Elena Rieder. She once found yoga a bit silly – until she tried it herself. Since then, mindfulness has been an important part of her life, which fortunately also fits perfectly with her work at 6-Minuten-Verlag.  

Sources:

[1] Materials in Today's World: Dr. Ronald Redwing, College of Earth and Mineral Sciences (2023): Resiliency and Toughness

[2] Resilience model according to Ursula Nuber: Dipl. Psych. Julia Scharnhorst: Haufe Personal Office

[3] Careerslounge: Resilience - Skills and practical exercises

[4] NHS UK skillsforcare: Building your own health, resilience and wellbeing

[5] AOK Magazine: Building Resilience – How to Strengthen Your Resilience