What We Can Learn About Mindfulness from Children

An old wooden pallet, a broom handle and a bedsheet: What is just a pile of junk to us adults instantly becomes a pirate ship for a child, with which it can sail wonderfully across the grass sea, past pinecone fish and tree cliffs. When Mum or Dad then calls for dinner, they are simply hijacked as part of a hostile takeover – if their demand doesn't directly get lost in the joyful screeching anyway.

Everyone has probably observed children in their play at least once. They forget everything around them. For them, only the moment exists. While we are supposedly firmly rooted in life with both feet, the little dwarves often behave much more naturally: They are truly present, completely in the here and now. But we too can regain this wonderful ability. Here are five simple tips that help us learn to bathe in the moment like children again.

1. Focus on one thing

Brushing the child's teeth while sitting on the toilet in the morning, while we simultaneously listen to the mailbox and already draft emails in our head, seems only at first glance like a good start to the day. The world doesn't really turn faster, although sometimes it feels that way. The reason for this isn't interstellar currents, but our rather hectic society. More and more things want to be done at the same time, whether they are private or professional in nature. The ability to multitask is considered particularly efficient by many.

However, the constant back and forth between different tasks is an underestimated source of stress. [1] [1] Distracted attention: www.spiegel.de: Multitasking is inefficient  Especially the smartphone pushes itself alongside every other activity – after all, you usually still have one hand free for it. Little children, on the other hand, are fully engaged. Have you ever observed a toddler deliciously devouring a bowl of spaghetti? How it concentrates with all its senses entirely on the food and perhaps lets us know from time to time through short comments that it tastes good?

More on the topic: Why focus is the most important skill of the 21st century

Even without having noodles hanging from your hair afterwards, we can practise this focus in everyday life – especially in dealing with media: Let's take a break from the smartphone, log out of our social media profile and concentrate on only one thing at work as in our free time.

2. Perceive the beauty around us

A short walk to the supermarket can drag on quite a bit when accompanied by a small child. "Look, Dad, dog poop", "Oh, a dandelion", "Wow, a truck!" Children get excited about the most everyday things. They notice the rose hedge ("That pricks"), which we would otherwise walk past carelessly, and notice the squirrel that dashes up a tree trunk a few metres ahead of us.

We adults, on the other hand, walk around with fixed plans in our heads, are constantly on missions so that we can finally check them off, and often no longer properly perceive our environment. Mentally we are still stuck in the past or already in the future: Was my boss in a bad mood today or did I do something wrong? Is there fresh salad or greasy cheese casserole for dinner?

Let's try instead to concentrate on what is happening in the moment. The next time we go for a walk, we feel the wind and the warm sunbeams on our face. Or we feel how rough the park bench is and listen to the rustling of the trees. A simple park thus becomes a bubbling fountain of sensory impressions.

Mindfulness is a skill that we all once possessed and have forgotten over the years. You can practise this being present particularly well in simple everyday tasks, for example when washing your hands, brushing your teeth or washing dishes. Let's use our five senses: What can I see, hear, feel, smell and taste in this moment?

How well can you fully immerse yourself in the moment? Find out with our scientific mindfulness test.

3. Be authentic

Would you go to a meeting with friends in green corduroy trousers (worn inside out) with a blue lace dress and rubber boots? When you let little children dress themselves, they wear what they feel like. The above-mentioned outfit is quickly joined by the most ridiculous hairstyles. Amused by the sight, but disturbed in their aesthetic sense, parents then often try to persuade: Wouldn't the blue jumper fit better? But why actually? Isn't it beautiful to be so free from the judgment of others?

Little children haven’t yet learned to pretend or adapt to the expectations of others. They haven’t yet experienced how a boy or a girl "has to be", how "one" dresses or what is "reasonable". Children are simply themselves and do what they enjoy. And we adults can take a good leaf out of their book. How often do we ask ourselves how the new outfit will be received by our colleagues or what our neighbours would think if we finally quit our unpleasant job?

Let's simply ask ourselves instead what we want and what makes us feel good. What would we do if it were not about meeting the expectations of the family, the boss or the friends? Maybe we'll risk a daring colour combination or combine high heels with dungarees.

4. Live curiosity

Where do snowflakes actually come from and why do they melt? Do fish have teeth and why is water wet? Admittedly, such questions can sometimes be a bit exhausting for parents. Yet curiosity is the engine for every further development – additionally, it activates the reward centre in the brain and proved to be just as important as intelligence among students for solving tricky tasks and getting good grades. [2] Neurology: www.zeit.de: Can curiosity be learned?   For the sake of convenience, we still gladly accept things as they are, because they "are as they are." Many of us believe that we have already learned our lesson and have made ourselves comfortable in our comfort zone.

That’s a shame, because only when we are curious and try things can we grow and discover sides of ourselves that we had not even suspected before. How can I know what skydiving feels like before I have tried it? What does Jamaican cuisine taste like? And do fish have teeth?

5. Get to know our priorities

"Mum, play with me!", "Dad, can we go outside?" Children know exactly what they want and what is important to them without thinking much about it: spend time with the people who are close to them, romp outside and have a lot of fun. We adults like to have a lot of reasons ready as to why what we would like to do isn't possible right now: "I don't have time.", "I have to first...", "I can't yet..."

But is that really the case? Can we not or do we not want to? Do we make excuses because we are afraid? Or is it our own perfectionism that stands in our way? Let's think about what is really important to us in life by asking ourselves the following questions: What am I grateful for? When am I relaxed and happy? What did I like to do as a child? By learning to distinguish important from unimportant, we can consciously devote more time to the things that make us feel good.

By the way, if you feel that your children aren’t so mindful, you can change that. As a particularly easy-to-implement training, a mindfulness journal like our 6-Minute-Diary for Kids helps. It allows them, for example, to perceive their feelings very precisely right now in the moment and let them be. And it shows them that these feelings are justified. That’s surely something worth learning, right?

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This post is by Maria Röckmann. During her journalism studies in Down Under, she one day held a microphone in front of a man's face, fell in love with him and stayed there. When she isn't roaming the playgrounds in Brisbane with her children, she writes for the 6-Minuten-Verlag or works on her first novel.

Sources:

[1] Distracted attention: www.spiegel.de: Multitasking is inefficient