The 12 Best Books on Self-Discovery

The self is a bit like a Matryoshka doll that can be opened up further and further – until a small, solid doll remains at the very centre that can no longer be divided. Each of us has many layers that were constructed for a variety of reasons. Some are unnecessary and are simply still there because we created them at some point. Others protect us from danger – or at least from what we perceive as dangerous. If we want to know who we really are, we must move towards our inner core. To the place where we are indivisible ourselves.

To help you connect directly with your true self, we have put together the 12 best books for you. Some offer practical tips and instructions, while others tell stories in which everyone can find themselves. But they all have one thing in common: they help you effectively and compassionately find your best self.

1. Stefanie Stahl – This Is Who I Am! Recognize Yourself and Others

Psychologist and bestselling author Stefanie Stahl has written a very special guide with this book: an instruction manual for a human being. What may sound technical at first is part of so-called typology, a construct in psychology. With the help of a personality test, many easy-to-understand behavioural explanations, and vivid examples, you can get to know yourself really well. The “instruction manual” can also be created for others – this also allows you to get to the bottom of the dynamics of romantic relationships.

This book is for you if:

• you finally want to know how you tick and what shaped you like and why
• you wonder whether your partner is the right one
• you want to recognise how the people around you tick and no longer want to ask what a certain behaviour means

2. Simon Sinek – Always Ask Why First

Asking yourself who you are does not stop with your private life. Our job is a considerable part of us – and therefore it makes sense to also ask here and there “Why” :-) The successful management consultant Simon Sinek, whose TED Talks inspire millions of people, traces professional success back to one question: Why? Why do some teams work better than others? And what role does each individual play in that? Why do I do what I do? You will find many cleverly asked whys and even more absolutely brilliant answers to them in this bestseller.

This book is for you if:

• you work in a team and want to understand the dynamics within it
• you wonder what the “Why” behind your work is – and you want a satisfying answer
• you want to be in harmony with your working life

3. Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements

Bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz manages to give simple, clearly structured instructions in this little masterpiece that greatly enrich life and make everyday life easier. This spiritual guide refers to the ancient wisdom of the Toltecs – a culture that lived in central Mexico in the 10th century. The four agreements described in it guide you to actively shape your own life and free yourself from unloved patterns. The little book stood on the New York Times bestseller list for more than 8 years, sold over 7 million copies, and has long since been more than just a tip in our team too :-)

This book is for you if:

• you want to understand and eliminate negative behaviour
• you want to embark on an inner journey that will change you
• you are looking for a short, concise work for your transformation

4. Michael Curse Kurth – 199 Questions for Yourself

We should think more often about what makes us happy right now. ― Michael Curse Kurth 

When we fall in love, we want to know everything about this person. If we want to learn to know and love ourselves, isn't that just as important? Bestselling author, coach, and rap icon Michael Curse Kurth has put together 199 brilliant questions that will help you reflect fundamentally on yourself and thus establish a completely new connection to yourself. Here are a few examples: What is the difference between a job and a calling for you? Or what is more important to you than your goal? Every question is unique and shows you – if you answer it openly and honestly for yourself – a new facet of yourself. 

This book is for you if:

• you want to get to the core of your desires in the areas of self-discovery, career, problem-solving, money, and partnership
• you are interested in stories from Curse's experiences as a coach
• you simply want to read a book by a damn cool guy who has recognised important things that you can also benefit from

5. Dominik Spenst – The 6-Minute-Diary

The 6-Minute-Diary by Dominik Spenst combines scientifically sound theory and easily implementable practice in a unique way, so that you can get started quickly and easily. In just 6 minutes a day, you can fully focus on yourself and your personal growth. How could you get to know yourself better than with a daily date with yourself? By now, the longest-lasting member of the 6-Minute-Journals® series has been translated into over 20 languages. Thus, it diligently spreads self-love and self-awareness all over the world – and has already helped more than a million people find themselves.

This book is for you if:

• you are looking for a simple and scientifically sound tool for a more mindful and fulfilling life
• you would like to advance your personal development with an easy-to-use journal
• you want to find out what really makes you happy through targeted self-reflection questions

If you are a mum, there is the 6-Minute-Diary in a very special version: The 6-Minute-Diary for Mums. Because mothers often put their own needs last, so it is not uncommon to get lost in all the to-dos and lose your own “self.” It contains a daily routine that is specially adapted to the everyday life of a mum, so that self-care does not become an additional task, but effortlessly fits into your day.

In addition, you will find 12 personal stories and practical tips from inspiring mothers, including Marlies Johanna, Sara Nuru, Susan Sideropoulos, and Kathy Weber. They share their experiences and valuable insights that will help you draw new strength and put yourself back into focus.

6. Laura Malina Seiler – Back to Me

Now is the right time to show yourself to life and let go of everything that has kept you small. – Laura Malina Seiler

For the first time, Germany's self-help icon and bestselling author Laura Malina Seiler writes a novel – and you can take a lot away from this wonderful story. Alma, the heroine of the book, finds a letter that leads her on a healing journey to herself … and we can be right there with her! The book is full of enlightening insights and valuable impulses that will give you the crucial push to find your way back to yourself.

This book is for you if:

• you want to let yourself be captivated by an inspiring story (which is also available as an audiobook!)
• you want to learn something about yourself from Alma's journey
• you are looking for an exciting novel that also works as a guide

7. Nicole LePera – Heal. Yourself

Psychologist and therapist Nicole LePera recognised a pattern in her patients: Everyone seemed stuck and wanted to change – but they just couldn't get started. A weekly session seemed insufficient and too ineffective to LePera. She wanted to give her patients something to take with them so they could also work independently of the therapy sessions. The result was a holistically oriented work that guides you in a very clever way to become active yourself. So that your destiny is also in your hands – and you are not solely dependent on waiting times for therapy or the success of a single weekly session.

This book is for you if:

• you want to recognise and heal the causes of mental and psychosomatic illnesses
• you want to learn how you can leave trauma and problems behind to live more authentically and confidently
• you want to do something for yourself before, during, or after therapy as a complement

8. Erich Fromm – To Have or to Be

The consumer world constantly sends us the same message: You must have this, that, and the other to be happy. But a great language-learning app on your smartphone won't automatically teach you a language, just as no shower gel in the world can make you permanently happy. Erich Fromm, one of the world's most renowned psychologists, argues in this timeless classic – which remains as critical of society today as it was when published nearly 50 years ago – that it is not what we possess that defines us, but what we do.

This book is for you if:

• you don't want to get lost in the labyrinth of offers and possibilities, but want to stay focused on what matters most: yourself
• you want to learn how to be true and honest with yourself, instead of going with the flow
• you are interested in social and economic criticism

9. Alain de Botton – Self-Knowledge: The School of Life

Not being understood can be seen as a sign that there is much to understand. –  Alain de Botton

The philosopher and founder of The School of Life, Alain de Botton, explains in this book how we can learn to recognise who we are with compassion and understanding, enabling us to make easier and better decisions. He draws on both psychological and philosophical approaches and develops practical exercises that you can easily use in everyday life.

This book is for you if:

• you want to learn something about the best psychological and philosophical theories of the self
• you want to discover the unconscious parts of your personality in just 100 pages
• you love Alain de Botton's accessible, humorous writing style – or would like to get to know it
  

And if you don't have a free hand for a book but still want to work on yourself, feel free to browse our list of the 12 best podcasts for your personal development.

10. Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist

Most of us carry a desire to change something so that we can get closer to who we really are. Paulo Coelho takes us on the journey of the shepherd boy Santiago in his worldwide bestseller, translated into 81 languages, who embarks on the difficult path to a treasure and finds himself along the way. He serves as a source of inspiration and a role model for everyone who needs that crucial push to get moving. Let yourself be inspired and carried along :-)

This book is for you if:

• you need an encouraging and beautiful story far removed from non-fiction to help you pursue your dreams
• you want to be inspired by a spiritual journey – and perhaps embark on one yourself
• you want to rediscover your optimistic attitude

11. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry – The Little Prince

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

When The Little Prince was published in 1943, many of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's followers were disappointed: A children's book? Really? Yet the short story is full of valuable wisdom that brings us adults back to the world of childhood. The enthusiasm, honesty, and joy of life that children have are things we often lose in everyday life, but can rediscover deep within ourselves. And also the person we truly are. The Little Prince is a helpful guide to this.

This book is for you if:

• you want to see the world through the eyes of a child again
• you have missed out on one of the best children's and adult books of all time until now
• you love poetry and metaphors

12. Udo Baer & Gabriele Frick-Baer – The Big Book of Feelings

Anyone who bakes a cake should know what goes into it so that it tastes good. It is just as useful to know and understand our individual feelings so that our overall self-image is coherent and consistent. In this reference work, educators Udo Baer and Gabriele Frick-Baer explore the various nuances of positive and negative feelings.

This book is for you if:

• you want to not only feel your emotions but also understand them – and you want to be surprised by how many emotions there are
• you want to explore the connections between individual emotions
• you want to bring order to your emotional world

Do you know another really good book that can help you shed your inhibitions and become yourself? Then feel free to leave a comment and let others benefit from your knowledge :-)

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This post was written by Frauke Harlis. She loves writing just as much as psychology and has studied both. When she is not typing or entertaining her two children, she lies on the deck of her houseboat and looks for shapes in the clouds.